See Me...Emotionally

I said this blog would be about my journey to wellness-- mind, body and spirit.  I have shared my passage to physical wholeness and after what I experienced today, it is only fitting that I share my recent journey to emotional wholeness.


Since graduating in December 2011, I was anxious to find a job in my field of mass communications.  My prayer had been that I would get a job before graduation and when graduation came and went and I hadn't obtained that job yet, I started to get discouraged.  My family and friends continued to encourage me that it would happen.  Even with all of the encouragement as days turned into weeks and weeks into months and months into more months, I came to a place in my life of unrest.


In addition to that, changes were taking place around me that caused me to feel out of place.  Really close friends were getting jobs or working in their fields, getting married, having babies and starting new relationships, and I was feeling LOST in all of it.


Thanks to my spiritual upbringing I knew to begin to pray; however, I still was in a place of restlessness.  I began to cry myself to sleep, if I could fall to sleep.  I would be in the shower in the morning praying but  even that would end in a cry fest and still NO peace.


This finally turned into FRUSTRATION!!!  I was praying wholeheartedly, urgently and sincerely with NO comfort, MORE questions, and NO peace.  About a month ago, I went to lunch with my god-sister and best friend Karla and I shared with her what was on my heart and two words into sharing I burst into tears in the middle of this restaurant.  (Believe me, it wasn't pretty!)  After sharing with her, she began to encourage me and I felt better but I DIDN'T FEEL FREE.


Later that night I called my mother and a few words into the conversation, I broke down again.  I hadn't finished getting my thoughts out when my mother began encouraging me and then praying FOR me.  It was doing this prayer that I began to feel FREE.  I don't remember word for word the prayer but several things did stand out:

• She commanded the devil to loose his hold on my heart and emotions that made me feel ABANDONED, REJECTED & CONDITIONALLY LOVED.
• She spoke to that place in my heart that had been emotionally hurt, abandoned and rejected as a little girl for that pain to be uprooted, severed and gone.
• She stated how I tried to cover it with all of my personal accomplishments in an effort to be accepted in life.
• She prayed against all unhealthy friendships and relationships that were in my life that were hindering and hurting me.
• She spoke life to my heart and for God to fill the void in my heart with HIS unconditional love and HIS acceptance.
• She spoke supernatural healing to my mind, heart, emotions, body and spirit.

By the time she finished with me, my entire face was wet and swollen.  (I know its not a pretty picture but it was much needed.)  From that point on, I haven't felt abandoned or rejected.

Since that time, I began thanking God every day for the prayer being full-filled in my life.  Even though I wasn't seeing any changes with my natural eyes, I believed the changes were taking place internally.  

Are you curious what has happened since that night?  I accepted a job working in my field and LOVE IT!!  I've LOST 12 pounds!!  I NO LONGER feel abandoned, rejected or a need to have people's approval.  

In the beginning of this post, I stated that after what I experienced today, I had to share my journey.  HERE'S WHAT I EXPERIENCED:  

      Today my pastor, Bishop W.L. Washington preached from St. Luke 13:10-17.  This passage is about a woman who for 18 years had an infirmity caused by a spirit (a demon of sickness) and she was bent completely forward and unable to straighten herself up or to look upward.  After being in this position for 18 years, Jesus laid hands on her and she was instantly healed.  My pastor shared that an infirmity can be physical, mental or emotional.  When Jesus healed the woman it was the Sabbath day, a day of rest and no one was to work.  Jesus healing this woman was seen as wrong by those around.  But Jesus let the people know that He was not wrong for healing this woman and she deserved to be healed.  In other words, HE MADE NO APOLOGY FOR DELIVERING HER.  Then my pastor shared that once God delivers you, its important to stay in a place of deliverance, "HANG LOOSE" and LIFE GETS BETTER.  This very message spoke to my heart, my emotions and my spirit and SEALED what my mother had prayed.  I WAS LOOSED FROM WHAT HELD ME CAPTIVE IN MY HEART, EMOTIONS AND MIND AND MY LIFE IS BETTER!!!!